When you don’t know if it’s the bass or your heart vibrating in your chest, if it’s your friend or a hot stranger dancing next to you, if it’s daylight or just the fuzz of the club’s multi-coloured lights glimmering on the ceiling, you know you’re at the perfect Puerto Vallarta night club. This thriving coastal city is already the perfect spot for a remarkable vacation, but once the sun sets, the charming setting switches into a no-holds-barred dance scene. The DJs fingers blur on the records, the pointy heels of scantily-clad women twirl on the table tops, and the flashes of damp skin glow on the dance floor. You can’t go to Puerto Vallarta without hitting at least one club. Here are some of the most scandalous:
Getting Dirty (While Getting Clean)
If the thumping bass and lines out the door weren’t signals enough that Collage is one of the hottest spots in Puerto Vallarta, wait until you get inside. Candy-coloured lights beam down on young people in all states of undress as some of the latest electronic beats provide the soundtrack to debauchery. Collage is such a popular venue that even an innocuous day of the week like Tuesday is just as insane as the weekend. Tuesday is the club’s famous foam night, where bits of soapy froth drop from the ceiling onto the bodies ebbing and flowing to the music below. Other evenings can include everything from fire throwers to thunderous dance performances. And don’t miss out on Mardi Gras Fridays, when you get a beaded necklace and are encouraged to do what your mama told you not to.
Becoming a Club Warrior
Hilo isn’t messing around when it comes to dance club ambience. Towering bronze statues of warriors and angels loom large in this routinely packed club. DJs spin a collection of electronica and hip-hop until dawn’s light, as patrons dance on the floors, atop the tables, and in walkways no bigger than crevices. With the ceiling stories high and the club brimming with hundreds of people in motion, this club wants you to walk—or stumble—out into the wee hours with a blissful mojito glow. The beach is just outside the enormous windows and makes it hard to forget you’re partying in paradise, even with a tequila sunrise haze.
Losing Your Halo
There is a distinctly church-like architecture to Strana, but it’s anything but holy. The tall pointed ceilings, mythical archways, and expansive windows looking into the stars give a heighted feel to a night in this club. Giant disco balls drip from the ceilings, laser dots of light paint the wooden beams, and a chandelier of grandiose proportions hangs like a touch of class in this 21st century template of mayhem. You’ll soon find yourself worshiping the DJ and his whirling fingers as your vodka martini swirls in your glass. This hot spot is also a favourite of performers like Steve Aoki, Deadmau5, and Avicii, to name a few. Get lost in the spectacle as confetti rains down and the sun comes up.
Staying Classy—If You Want To
The Hindu-inspired Mandala tosses zen and peace out the door. The DJs play thundering Spanish pop and electronica long into the night, to the delight of party-goers. Known for its laser shows and VIP booths, it’s a great spot to have just enough open space to enjoy a drink, with ample activity to get you on your toes. The light-up dance floor and roof-top bar add to the flashy appeal of this cosmopolitan club on the main strip. Best of all, the high-reaching windows show everyone on the street the chaos inside.
With booms and screams rattling your rib cage and swirl of sweet drinks spinning in your head, you absolutely can’t go wrong with a club night in Puerto Vallarta. Lower those inhibitions and get out on the confetti-littered dance floors and table tops.
When was the last time you danced on a bar?